From Both Sides Now

It probably made sense that the first song I heard when I got in the cab this morning was "Missing You," by Brandy, Gladys Knight, Tamia and Chaka Khan.

"Though I'm missing you
(Although I'm missing you)
I'll find a way to get through
(I'll find a way to get through)
Living without you
'Cause you were my sister, my strength, and my pride
Only God may know why, still I will get by."

You know, I think I'm kind of over being astonished by the signs and signals I keep getting from Julie. Not in the sense that I don't want to receive them anymore. It's just that when they come, it's almost like they were already there.

Today is the second anniversary of Julie's passing, and I've been so very busy and preoccupied lately, I wasn't as somber about the run-up as I was last year, I guess. For the most part, I've been focused on getting ready for today's trip to Arusha, and my first glimpse of Mt. Kilimanjaro. Turns out most of that first glimpse was obscured by clouds, so it was a bit anticlimactic.

But then while I was walking across the tarmac at the airstrip, I suddenly stopped. I realized that even though it was partially hidden behind clouds, it is STILL Mt. freakin' Kilimanjaro, and deserves some respect, dammit! So I turned around, and then something struck me.

I was ignoring this majestic, awesome, natural wonder of the world just because I couldn't see the tip top of it. Forget the massive base...a mountain just ain't a mountain unless you can see what's above the clouds, right???

Wrong. You see, I decided it was just Julie sending me another message. Just because I can't see her, doesn't mean she's not here. It doesn't mean her love and strength and guidance and support aren't with me every waking moment. It doesn't negate that the only reason I'm still standing, and traveling the globe, and "getting by," is because she nurtured me with her own massive emotional base.

So, I guess I've looked at clouds from both sides now. Love You, Miss Winky!