In July, 2008, I, Princess Rachella, Intrepid African American Girl International Journalism Consultant, pulled up stakes once again and headed to Nairobi, Kenya. Through my various adventures, I've concluded that if I get any MORE explosively fabulous in these prequel years to "THE BIG 5-0," I will have to register myself with the Pentagon as a thermonuclear incendiary device.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Yule Be Surprised....

....when you see this picture. I know I was! If I looked as bitchy as I've been feeling lately, I would resemble a withered crone with a huge wart on the tip of her nose and a dessicated hump on her back.

Come to think of it, I've been in a pissy mood for the past month and half now, after the completely dysfunctional training experience in Dakar. Loved the city, and most of the people I met, but otherwise, after 4 days I was ready to hit the Scotch HARD by the time I got back to Nairobi. And it seems like ever since then, I have taken every available opportunity to be a snappy, waspish, impatient, "Ugly American" Grade A Prime butthole. Like last Friday morning, when the ATM machine at one of the local malls ate my card, and the young woman in the bank branch told me to come back on Monday to "get sorted." Well, you can imagine what I almost told her she could get. I bet she's still talking about that black American shrew who demanded to see the branch manager and railed about why on EARTH people in Nairobi think everybody else in the world has as much time to waste getting nothing accomplished AS THEY DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Coupled with another burst of hormonal hell, and I naturally concluded that lately, I have resembled, if not in flesh then in spirit, none other than Dr. Seuss's immortal Grinch, complete with the foul, dank soul and bitter, twisted pout. I certainly never expected to emit even the faintest glimmer of life, light or pleasant spirit when I asked a colleague to take this picture of me today, to use as my email holiday greeting for friends and family. In fact, I told him to back up, and kind of angle the camera a bit, maybe to soften the harsh edges that I just knew I was throwing.

I swear, when he handed me the camera, I almost dropped it. I might actually approach this woman and say "hello." If she smiled a bit wider, I might even want to get to know her better. She even seems kinda, well, nice.

Imagine what I'd look like if I were actually getting laid these days! Anyway, I just wanted share this snapshot update on how Princess Rachella is doing this holiday season, and to wish you all a "Merry Masai Christmas," courtesy of the colorful local outfit I actually felt like wearing today in honor of the season. I'm really quite stunned that I'm even acknowledging the holiday this year, and even looking forward to having a great time back the in States soon.

After two incredibly difficult holiday seasons, this time, "Time" has been the greatest gift of all.

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