Revel-A-tionary Road.....

I just CAN'T stop thinking about the movie "Revolutionary Road." I've only seen a handful of first-run movies since arriving in Kenya, and not only was it the best, it was actually the best film I've seen in a decade or more.

That may be partly because I wasn't expecting it to be so terrific. I've just never been able to fully accept Leonardo Dicaprio as anything other than a plucky lad. The last time I considered his acting "age appropriate" was in what I thought was a fantastic performance in "This Boy's Life." In everything he's done since, I just couldn't get past the boyish looks and the slightly nasal voice. He got mad props for "The Aviator," but I still couldn't fully suspend disbelief.

So even though I've always thought Kate Winslet is an amazing actress, I
didn't think they'd be able to pull off 1950's suburban married angst. Imagine my astonishment at being completely drawn into the plot-line, from the opening scene to the end credits. Across the board, the writing, acting directing, and pacing were perfect...not a single false note in the entire film.

There's one moment I thought managed to surpass brilliance. If you haven't seen it yet, I'll scrimp on details. Let's just say that Leo's character decides to confess a secret that could have a potentially devastating impact, as way to force a fresh start in a marriage that's gone almost completely off the rails by that point.

As he's trying to explain his wayward behavior, the camera focuses on Kate's face. I haven't seen such fierce intelligence, looming comprehension and abject power on the face of a Hollywood actress since...early Meryl Streep, and before that, Bette Davis. Without a word, without a lot of make-up or bells and whistles, Winslet exquisitely conveyed the incredible power of choice that human beings have, even in the worst emotional turmoil. The character could have lashed out at her trifling husband, slapped the shit out of him, burst into tears, played the guilt card, stormed away, or even shot his ass, as many a woman might have been inclined to do.

Instead, she chose the most psychologically ingenious, yet ultimately far more brutal way to get back at him. Though it was cruel, you had to respect the way she commandeered the reins of the situation. She gave absolutely no quarter. The more he tried to pierce the armor, the more she shoved the door shut. He was about ready to have an aneurysm by the time she got through using words as scalpels, but she absolutely refused to back down.

Now, by no means am I advocating emotional torture as a way to manage relationships. Like I said, I thought the character's behavior was cruel. But that scene stays with me because it highlights something I've thought about a lot in recent years...the enormous power of choice. In just about every situation we're presented with in life, we have a choice. Sometimes there's not enough time to make an informed one, but there's still choice involved. Even when the choice is just whether to complain about or accept a situation, to stay or go, to embrace or deny, it's ours to make.

You don't get to see what the end result of that choice will be--you can only hope that when those painful dilemmas occur, you'll be able to make your decision based on common sense, wholeness and some modicum of human kindness, rather than pain, fury or recrimination. Because here's what I've learned: no matter how much you think you can use that choice to seek revenge against an individual or avoid dealing with a scenario, Life always manages to prove that the person you damage the most by your actions is...

You.