In July, 2008, I, Princess Rachella, Intrepid African American Girl International Journalism Consultant, pulled up stakes once again and headed to Nairobi, Kenya. Through my various adventures, I've concluded that if I get any MORE explosively fabulous in these prequel years to "THE BIG 5-0," I will have to register myself with the Pentagon as a thermonuclear incendiary device.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

There'll Be A Whole Latte More Of Me After This Trip

It's been a week since I touched down on US soil, and I'm offering the following random observations so far:

1. There is such a thing as HAM JERKY. Seriously. And it's insanely delicious.

2. A Code Orange Heat and Humidity Alert for a premenopausal woman is tantamount to a death sentence.

3. High Speed Internet is kewl. Insanely kewl.

4. The average American in the worst of circumstances is a thousand times better off than most people in the developing world. Trust me on that one.

5. African American men are VASTLY superior flirters than East African men. I always wind up smiling and almost blushing at some of the random compliments brothers pay me on the streets here. It's pure crack for the ego.

6. Warts and all, the DC Metro System is one of the best in the country. And it HAS to be one of the Top 10 in the world, I'd argue.

7. Going to the Kennedy Center will always and forever make me feel like a giddy 12 year old girl.

8. NOTHING is as comforting and fulfilling as a bag of Hostess Powdered Donettes, which I scarfed down the morning after consuming several glasses of wine and a pomegranate martini. Then I was informed that it was actually National Doughnut Day. On that very day. Seriously. I mean, how much do I love my country????

9. For quality and value, shopping in American discount department stores like Filene's and Marshall's provides the same serotonin rush as good sex. That is, if I can remember that far back.

10. America is like the picture up top. That's the Caramel Mocha I ordered the morning after I landed. When the kid placed it on the counter in front of me, I literally did a double take. First of all, the cup seemed HUGE, and for God's sake, why on Earth had she put so much whipped cream on top???? And then the answer came: because she could. Because it's the way they make 'em in America. Too much of everything, but marvelous anyway.

Which I hope will be the way people describe my ass after a month in America.

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