Family Patterns

Let me tell you about the other half of my nephew James's family. Here's a picture of most of them.

In the center of this picture is Linda, who was married to my brother David. She is flanked on her right by her sister Carol and Carol's daughter Stacey, and to the left by Carol's other daughter Elise and her family's matriarch, Velna.

These are the people James grew up with, interacted with, learned with, fought with, and loved the most. These are the people who were there during the most triumphant highs and the most profound lows. These are the people who shored him up after David exited the picture. And whenever I see James and marvel over what a considerate and kind and pleasant human being he seems to be, it's mostly due to the influence of these people.

I first met these women on the island of Maui in June of 1987, when David and Linda were married atop Haleakala Volcano at sunrise. Stacey and Elise were adorable little chubby cheeked girls, bouncing around on the beach and basting in the Hawaiian sun. And I remember the early morning ride up the volcano on the wedding day, and the eerie arc of white light called a "moonbow" that lit our path. I remember freezing in the early morning fog and drizzle, until the moment when Linda's father Rollie, who performed the ceremony, pronounced them man and wife, and almost as if on cue, the clouds rolled away and bright sunlight flooded the valley. I remember the champagne and the laughter and the hopes and promise of that day.

Ironically, last week 85 year old Velna was the one who reminded me that June 13th, the day after James's graduation, would have been David and Linda's 23rd wedding anniversary. And last week, I was reminded how much these people loved and respected my brother David. And how much they miss him to this very day.

So much water under the bridge. So many rivers we've crossed. Such depths of passion and pain, so many fountains of tears, so many oceans of regret.

But what's left? Family, in whatever shape, form or pattern it comes in. That's why I brought a bunch of brightly colored kikoy and kitenge cloth from Kenya with me to give to Linda and Carol and Stacey and Elise and Velna. I wanted to thank them for all the love and support they had cocooned my nephew James in through all these years.

Hell, maybe they've helped create the next Obama!