Bird Flew

This is one of the first things I unpacked this morning, after making a quick call to my US cell phone so I could hear the message I'd told my friend Lisa to leave on the voicemail. Sure enough, she had faithfully shouted,

"IT'S JUST A DUCK!!!!!"

Lisa was with me when I purchased this really cute knick-knack duck at a gallery on the Central Oregon Coast. When I told her I wanted to find a little memento for a certain someone back in Nairobi, she patiently tagged along while I poked through gift shops, before spotting this duck on a shelf. It's carved from a club from one of the oldest courses in Oregon. I don't play golf, but this certain someone in Nairobi does, and I thought he might appreciate it.

Now before you even ask, I ain't giving up the deets on this guy. It's just not the right time. It may never be the right time. When or if it is, I'll let you know. Until then, just know that this Oregon Duck made the 9,000 mile journey to East Africa freighted with a lot more meaning than it needs to have! In fact, when I told my best friend Faith in North Carolina that I had purchased this duck as a small present for a certain someone to let him know I'd been thinking about him while I was away, Faith spent more than an hour damn near preaching a Sunday morning service about the folly of said endeavor.

"Why are you so focused on this guy? What has he bought for you? What has he done to show you that he's thinking about you?" Faith queried. After all, she'd been hearing about my surprisingly teenaged-style crush for months, and knew I had little more to show for it than one date and some mild flirtations. Like the dutiful best friend she is, Faith reminded me that when a man wants you, he's usually not ambivalent. No matter how busy he is, no matter how stressed he is, no matter who else might be jockeying for his attention, if he wants to be with YOU, you won't have to guess his feelings.

And if you do find yourself guessing, it means "he's just not that into you."

Long story short, Faith advised me to keep this duck as a reminder to stay strong and wait for the guy who knows how terrific, and smart, and beautiful and funny I am (Faith's descriptors, not mine). Though her admonishments were a slight buzz kill, I actually rang off feeling a lot less anxious about this duck, and the response I was hoping to elicit with it. That is, until I was standing in the security line at Dulles, vetting that conversation with Lisa, who kept saying,

"IT'S JUST A DUCK!!!!!" And then she accused me of over-thinking the situation, and immersing myself in the mistakes of the past as an excuse to avoid taking a risk this time around.

Now I don't know what to do. So for the first time with this blog, I'm requesting help. If you are a regular reader of "Notes" and feel you have a thorough grasp of my particular brand of neuroticism, please share your advice about whether I should give this duck to a certain someone, or keep it as a reminder that I deserve a guy who spends a lot of time thinking about me while I'm away.

Just go to the comments section and opine away. I'll even take input from the Asian reader who's left a couple dozen comments in either Japanese or Chinese over the past few months. Hell, they could be cussin' me out for all I know, but since I can't read it, I don't care. However, if he or she responds to this request, I'll get it translated.