Why did I wake up this morning ready to kick ass and take names later???
Well, I wasn't quite that aggressive, but as I lay there negotiating the terms of release from my cozy 600 threadcount sheets, I concluded that enough is enough. I need funny, smart, emotionally-available male companionship ASAP, and I deserve to have it. I also deserve a watertight sign that my work here has meaning and potential for the long haul.
So I placed my orders with "Big G" (my edgy yet totally respectful nickname for The Supreme Higher Power), and gave thanks in advance for these things actually happening. This week. Not next week, or 3 years from now, or 20 years from now, or never. Never is not an option. Like Kanye says, "It's "my time to shine," but not as in going Jacob the Jeweler's and dropping fitty-thousand or so on bodacious bling (although I would NOT turn down an invitation to behave thusly.)
No, it's just my time to embrace a higher level of life. For reasons I've probably already alluded to, or which don't need to be fully explored at this juncture, I have not yet experienced the joys and challenges of a long-term committed relationship. And while chatting about it last night with Big G, I was all, "What is UP with that, Homey? I mean, you have sent other people's mates to their front doors, for heaven's sake!!! My sister Marilyn's husband knocked on her door asking for directions, and they've been married 20 years now. My sister Julie met her husband Ron the day she went to apply for a job at Cairo High School in 1968, and the door was locked, and he came and opened it."
On the contrary, I've had so many doors slammed in my face, I've lost count. I SWEAR, if one more man tells me I'm beautiful, sexy and a wonderful human being, but he's decided to go with Door Number 2 instead, I will commit a brutal homicide involving both decapitation and evisceration.
On a much lighter note, part of the reason I haven't had any doors slammed in my face in recent years is because the last time it happened, I stuck a fork in myself. I knew I had to step off the Treadmill of Dating Doom and take stock. I had to admit that I was choosing ambivalent, unmotivated guys, and so at least half of the outcome was my fault. And I was just tired...of online dating, blind-dating, desperation dating...it was just time to STOP.
But that period of self-evaluation and meditation officially ended this morning. Now it's time to GO. Like I said, I've already thanked the Universe for sending me mine. Although I must admit to providing an escape clause of sorts. If Big G wants to steer a book contract, a winning lottery ticket or a 7-figure job offer my way, I'll settle for sloppy seconds.
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