First off, let's get one thing straight. The only "charity" involved in the event I just got home from was the fact that I even agreed to show up. And I was the oldest thing in the whole damn building.
Turns out the bachelor "auction" wasn't really an auction, which is a good thing because they should have paid ME. I mean, God bless the chaps on display, but my bids for their "charms" wouldn't have risen much beyond $10 USD. (I know that sounds cold, but you had to be there.) Besides, the 8 guys in question weren't even there in person; their pictures were stuck to the walls, and me and the other hapless "bidders" were filmed staring at their one dimensional visages, pretending that we really wouldn't rather be somewhere receiving electroshock treatments instead of trying to choose between them.
After filming brief intros describing what we are looking for in a man (for me, "Great Laughter, Great Travel, and Great Food" top the list), we were each given 4 numbered stickers and told to place them on the pictures of the guys we were interested in. Without exception, each of us wound up inquiring what to do if we weren't interested in any of them. (My own response was a bit more direct...I said, "Sorry, none of these guys float my boat.")
But when I saw the desperate look on the face of the production assistant who'd likely be canned if she returned to the studio without tape of women slapping stickers on dude's faces, I took pity. After carefully reading the brief profiles written by each guy, I was able to eke out 3 picks.
Here's the thing. The oldest guy in the lot was 39, the youngest 28. I wound up picking that young 'un and two 33 year olds, because they'd all mentioned liking travel, adventure and cooking. One guy said he loved Diani Beach, south of Mombasa, and I had been there myself back in August and raved about it.
I would PAY to see their faces when they're informed that a 47 year old woman chose them as potential dates!! In African culture, I am one seriously old broad...more than comfortably old enough to be the 28 year old's mother, but could easily have birthed all three of 'em by Kenyan standards.
But then I compared myself with the other women at the event. I'd guess the oldest one was in her late 30's; most of the rest were 20's and early 30's. If I'm capable of being objective about it, I'd say I was the most attractive based purely on physical appearance. But see, I've been alive long enough to realize that "looks" don't necessarily mean anything. The reasons people connect and fall in love and commit are so complex and mysterious, to me anyway, that I've never really put much personal stock in how I look or whether I'm more attractive than somebody else. After all, I'm still alone, right?
What made me the catch of the crop WAS the fact that I'm a 47 year old woman who's had one hell of an amazing career, who's travelled extensively, who has a delightfully warped sense of humor, who can take care of herself, whose ass doesn't need it's own Zip Code yet, who has a HUGE heart and an insatiable intellect, who can whomp up a mean wild mushroom pasta, who's kind and caring and committed to making a difference in the world...and who's been celibate for so long that the next guy she dates seriously better buy stock in Viagra.
So it didn't matter that 3 or 4 of the other women there were 20-something babes with vulcanized rubber pelvises and bodaciously bouncy boobs and ovaries that haven't passed their sell-by dates yet. I had it all over those gals, and THEY knew it too, and I was lovin' every frakkin' second of it!!!!!!
Come to think of it, I WOULD pay to see the faces of those guys when they watch the tape of me selecting them as potential dates.......
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