Beauty and The Bitch

Obviously in this photo, my dream lover Idris Elba is the beauty. I've stumbled across the 2007 movie "Daddy's Little Girls" at various points in recent years, but couldn't bring myself to watch it all the way through. Gabrielle Union is just too damned dimply and pretty, and Idris Elba is just too damned HAWT to watch for extended periods without major retinal scorching.

But I knew it was about a successful professional Black American woman who eventually gives her heart to the smokin' fine chauffer with three sassy young daughters and a psycho-hoochie ex-wife. On Sunday afternoon, I decided what the hell, I'll watch it. (Plus, I didn't feel like moving from the couch to find the remote.)

Anyway, even though I'm about 11 years older--and though not unattractive, nowhere near the blinding dazzler that Gabrielle Union is--for the first half hour or so of the movie, I was looking at myself. Bee-YOTCH to the max! Snappish and rude and petty and like a shark in the water, seeking the blood of the weak and wounded. Just butt-ugly on the inside, no matter how poised and polished on the outside.

I can't really tell you much about the movie's plot, because like most Tyler Perry productions, it was a lightweight confection, usually forgotten about 30 minutes after the credits roll. But I'm still thinking about Gabrielle's cartoonish, one-dimensional portrayal of the "Uptight Black Super Bitch" who gets saved by the love (and sundry physical gifts) of a "Strong Black Yet Poor Stud God."

I'm still thinking about it because today at the doctor's office, I could tell she wanted to write me a prescription for something you can't get at the drugstore. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.....