Okay, what would YOU do if the man you lost your virginity to at age 26 on a foldout single cot next to the deep freezer in the back room of his sister's house just sent you an email out of the blue with the subject line, "Blast From The Past" to tell you that you that he still has fond memories of you, and that you look just like the Jehovah's Witness lady he currently works with, and he's been married for ten years now and has a 6 year old son?You'd do exactly what I'm doing, which is switching from red wine to lemongrass and ginger vodka shots. And you'd be damned glad you're still somewhat svelte and smokin' for a middle-aged perimenopausal spinster, and you'd picture him with a hideous paunch and a half-bald head and a fat-assed, surly wife who hasn't boinked him in 5 years and who makes his life a swirling nightmare of existential misery that will only end with the sweet release of DEATH.
Period, end of sentence.
But that's just me.
2 comments:
Damn you have a way with words. Okay, it was out of the blue. But I'm not that fat....well at least not "Biggest Loser" fat.
Don't hate me for being obtuse, but it has been quite a few years. The conversation was about women who had been J Witnesses at some point of their lives... duh and my mind went straight to you. Guess you do remember.
I did love your biting humor... and it wasn't the best ending to a relationship. So please forgive my awkward approach. But I have long wanted reach out to you.
Can you be nice? Wanted to know any thing factual about this ole boy from Tallahassee? How about it kid?
PS: I remember it as your little house in St. Pete/Clearwater?... and as one of the most passionate relationships of my life - (don't remember the little cot next to the freeze as the first, but I'll second your emotion). I never stopped appreciating you. Imagine that...
I'm a 50 year old man who didn't married until he was 40. I have essentially a baby. Growing up doesn't mean growing old, i.e. I'm still athletic and hot -- just a little heavier and learn to love the fade - its a nice look.
Chuck
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