In keeping with yesterday's food-related rant, I may have just spent $13.40 on two boxes of potentially fake-assed, "Sweep It Up Off The Factory Floor and Ship It to The Third World" breakfast cereal, and the more I think about it, the more it's pissing me off. If, in theory, these boxes actually DO contained authentic Kellogg's Frosted Flakes (one of my favorite cereals from childhood--when we could afford it) and Honey Nut Cheerios (the only real way you can choke those puppies down is smothered in some kind of sweet substance), then why the &^%# don't they have the same name as the boxes in America??? Right off the bat, you're suspicious. What, did they run out of stencils and have to just call 'em "Frosties?" Or did the suits in Battle Creek think adding the words "Nut Cheerios" after "Honey" would be so daunting that anyone outside the US would avoid purchasing the scary alien foodstuff??
And speaking of purchasing, I guess what I paid is not far off from the cost of cereal on American soil these days. I remember back in 2007, before I left for Gulu, the only time I bought my beloved Raisin Bran Crunch was when it was on sale AND I'd snagged some coupons. After the way I grew up, the thought of spending 4 bucks on cereal was just morally repugnant. I can't imagine how much a top-of-the-line tooth-rotting breakfast treat costs back home lately.
Anyway, I'm almost afraid to open these wretchedly mocking parcels. But maybe now you finally understand the core of my existential expat trauma as I negotiate a hostile gastronomic terrain?? And I'll tell you this--If I just spent 7 dollars apiece on 2 boxes of styrofoam-tasting quasi-crap, there's gonna be a "Battle in Battle Creek" the next time I hit the Midwest, trust me.
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