"I'm Just Sayin', Dawg...." Part 7

If you know like I know, you'll keep your men away from Argentina. AND all its women, wherever they might be working their fiendish wiles.

I know whereof I speak. One of those Latina hellspawn caused the painful demise of the last long-term relationship I was in. Oh, sure, the guy I'll call "The Addled Archivist" was 46 years old and didn't have a pot to piss in, and wasn't exactly curling my toes on a regular basis, but he was really smart, and hilariously funny, and knew all the words to every corny 1960's American sitcom theme just like I do, and on his Match.com profile, he'd quoted Jung, or somebody else suitably profound, and, dammit, he was MINE!!!!

But this heifer named Isis, whom he'd broken up with shortly before we met, kept popping back into his life. By email. She had moved back to Buenos Aires, and I guess decided the pickins down there weren't much better. Anyhoo, the Addled Archivist swore that at first, he rebuffed her email advances...until she mentioned there was a possibility she'd be returning to DC.

Eventually, I noticed he was starting to detach, particularly around Thanksgiving when he stuffed himself with my gourmet food and then went home, without even attempting to hook a sister up with some conjugals. And then two months later, Isis surprised him with a classic Argentinian bombshell. She'd just been transferred back to DC!

So the Addled Archivist shows up on my doorstep one night and announced he'd decided to give Isis just one more chance. Nothing personal. I suggested he leave my apartment before I stabbed him in the eye with a fork.

In hindsight, I realize I spent waaaaaaaaaay too much time torturing myself imagining some Salma Hayek look-alike beating me out, even if it was for a booby prize. But eventually, it dawned on me.

"It's bad enough that I put up with the Addled Archivist's lame-ness for as long as I did, considering he fact that he was a 46 year old guy who dressed like a Peace Corp volunteer, lived in a sparsely-renovated dorm, had minimal staying power and was cheap as hell. But how pathetic must THAT chick be if she traveled all the way from ARGENTINA for him???"

"I'm just sayin', dawg..."