It's been a while since I wrote one of my "I'm Just Sayin', Dawg..." reality checks. I've got some stuff stored up from the last few weeks which got obscured by MJ Mania. So in rapid succession, here is the first of 3....
You gotta hand it to developing countries and ancient religions that allow men to marry as many wives as they want. Some try to "make nice" by adding the codicil a man MUST be able to adequately provide for all those wives, and any children who may show up (yeah, RIIIIIIIIGHT). In fact, since I've been in Kenya, I read about some old goat in Northern Nigeria who had 86 wives and a couple hundred kids, or something crazy like that, and it made international headlines.
I've thought about polygamy a lot since I've been in Kenya. It's perfectly legal to have more than one wife here, and I'm told a lot of men take a second wife when the first one gets a little ragged around the edges, or puts on weight, or can't have kids, or stops getting freaky in the bedroom. And then of course there's the issue of girlfriends, mistresses, or as they say back home, "side pieces." To put it mildly, the practice is rampant up in this joint.
And let's not even mention a phenomenon I'm STILL trying to get my head around, the "Come, We Stay" arrangement, which basically means a guy can tell a woman, "Come, we stay together," and it gets counted as a marriage. No ceremony, no cake, bupkiss. Yeah, I know, I've summarized the hell out of it, but that's the basic principle.
In fact, the more I learn about these cultural practices around relationships, the more I doubt my prospects of EVER connecting with a Kenyan dude. First of all, I'm too damned old to be considered a viable mistress, or to bear children that don't come out with a coupla spare chromosomes, or something. Second, I'm also too damned mouthy for some Kenyan guy to bend his standards and take me on.
But then something like the Steve McNair tragedy comes along to remind me that this kind of male behavior ain't confined to the African continent. It's an unscientific conclusion on my part, but I'm starting to be convinced that most men, if given an opportunity, would juggle multiple, concurrent, long-term relationships. Notice I did not say ALL men. I know quite a few myself who as far as I can tell are faithful, and who have hung in there through the roughest patches imaginable. I also know men who once they realized they couldn't hang in there, at least had the grace to end one relationship either before or shortly after entering another.
So what makes a high-profile, revered for his good deeds family man like Steve McNair think he could get away with diddling a 20 year old girl on the side? Even going away on vacation with her, and allowing his picture to be taken with her? And if the police account is to be believed, one of the reasons he was killed is because the girl suspected he was seeing yet another woman?
Oh, NOW I get it!! He was rich, handsome, and could afford as many women as his appetites required. Which in Kenya is no big deal, for the most part, especially if you marry them all. But in the US, depending on how unstable the gal you pick is, it can get you capped.
"I'm just sayin', dawg...."
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