In July, 2008, I, Princess Rachella, Intrepid African American Girl International Journalism Consultant, pulled up stakes once again and headed to Nairobi, Kenya. Through my various adventures, I've concluded that if I get any MORE explosively fabulous in these prequel years to "THE BIG 5-0," I will have to register myself with the Pentagon as a thermonuclear incendiary device.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

A Candy-Coated Command

Today got off to a good start, actually. I spilled a half a cup of Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte in my lap, but that was a good thing. As the spicy liquid soaked through the crotch of my jeans, I realized it was the warmest sensation I'd felt since Flight 243 touched down at Detroit Metro on Christmas Day.

While stumbling around near Times Square today waiting to have lunch with friends, listening to the blood in my veins crackle and freeze, I couldn't resist taking a few tourist snaps. Even after all these years, the bright flashing signs and the tall buildings still leave me speechless. But then I realized that was partly because my lips had frozen and fallen off somewhere near the intersection of 47th and 6th. Anyway, you might think I took this particular picture because of the yummy looking M&M's on the huge electronic billboard.
But if you look closely at the lower center of the frame, you can see a stark, chalk white lettering command to, "GO FORTH." After almost 2 weeks in two of my favorite American cities, I was kind of pissed to see a message ordering me to steel my nerves and "go forth" from my homeland and return to an amazing, exasperating country I've established a tenuously committed relationship with. I kind of wish the lettering had spelled out, "Stay Your Ass Here In America, Where You Have Many People Who Love And Support You, And Where You Feel Far More Relaxed and Happy."
And then I remembered my Number One New Year's Resolution: to always remember that unless you are at peace within yourself, unless you feel whole and fulfilled inside, it really doesn't matter where you are. You could be in the front row at Fashion Week in Milan holding 2 American Express Black Cards, but if you're filled with anxiety and doubt and frustration, and you're always looking over your shoulder at past regrets, or craning your neck trying to see beyond the present and learn what the future holds, you might as well be huddled in a cave somewhere. ANYWHERE. And you might as well hand in the keys right now, because you are NOT really living, and you just never, ever know what tomorrow will bring.
Believe me, I got quite the wake up call yesterday afternoon, and I'll write about that next. But this stark command at the corner of 49th and 7th was just the nudge I needed to get me back on that Amsterdam-bound plane at JFK Thursday morning. Though the path I've chosen can be daunting, lonely and emotionally challenging, I must go forth and forge in the smithy of my soul.
Let's just hope this time that while I'm swinging my metaphorical blacksmith's hammer in that metaphorical smithy of my soul, there'll be no sparks flying in the crotch of some numbnut zealot's Underoos.

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