Criminally Content

If having fun was a crime, I'd be up for a serious dime bid in Attica right about now.

Hell, forget the dime bid. I'd get life without parole. This has been a glorious weekend. And I earned it. Deserve every minute of the happiness and relaxation I'm feeling at the moment.

In fact, the only stress I encountered the whole time was when these Maasai dudes got all up in my grill and pressured me about which of their trinkets to buy. I'm sure I wound up feeding the whole village by the time I got finished buying stuff, but it can be overwhelming.

Anyway, it's back to Nai-robbery for me soon, but the memory will linger on.

Life really is good, and lots of fun, when you let it play out that way.

Divine Destiny on Diani

I should have known that when my plane took off yesterday evening for Mombasa, and I looked out of my window and saw a rainbow where there had been no rain, that this was going to be a blissful weekend.

But then that gets me back to an earlier posting, about the amazing synergy that happens whenever my friend Kelly sets foot on the African continent. And since we've concluded that in previous lives we must have been the highly-ranked and favored wives of some Imperial Grand Poohbah Sultan, we decided to treat ourselves to a weekend on the Kenyan Coast, namely Diani Beach, about an hour south of Mombasa. I'd been there once before, but only for a conference. Never had the chance to lounge about and drink in the sights.

Well, Kelly worked her travel mojo and hooked us up with the sweetest deal EVUH at the Almanara Luxury Resort, smack dab on the Indian Ocean. We are staying in a 3 story villa with a chef. We are steps from the powdery white sand of Diani. We are being pampered senseless, and we deserve every second of it.

And I am scheming. There HAS to be some way to spend the rest of my life as one of the idle rich. I want to LIVE in Villa Silvia of the Almanara Luxury Resort, and have the Indian Ocean as my wading pool. After all, I AM PRINCESS RACHELLA, DAMMIT!!! It is my birthright, my ultimate destiny!!!

Umm, I didn't just publicly declare that, did I? Never mind....

A Matter of Course

This is a scene from my brief outing at the Kenya Open 2010 on Friday. To summarize the experience, I had a great conversation with my Barclays Bank "relationship manager," who invited me to the event, drank substandard Chardonnay, got shushed a few times for making noise while some guy was putting, or bogeying, or making an eagle, or a buzzard...HELL, I don't know!!!....and then almost got attacked by flesh eating ants.

Okay, so they weren't flesh eating, but they were getting on my damn nerves. Anyway, I have to say that while it was a beautiful day, and I enjoyed myself, the experience definitely made me question whether or not I could cut it as one of the idle rich. At least until the following day. That's when everything became clear.

They don't call me Princess Rachella for nothin'.....

Blonde Ambition/Dynamic Diva

I am sitting under a hair dryer at noon on a Thursday waiting for my freshly shampooed and twisted locs to dry, and it is all this woman's fault!

My gallivantin' gal pal Kelly is back in town from New York, and I have to say, my social calendar is starting to run out of pages! This was the only time in the next few weeks that I could even pretend to eke out a few hours to get my hair "did," and I had to just go for it.

There's something about this woman's presence that brings all sorts of terrific energy into my often trying expat existence. For example, how many times in life do you get to drink a foul, fermented brew made of flour, honey and God knows what bovine glandular secretions, from a hollowed-out bull's horn, as we are doing in the picture at left?

One sip, and I was ready to puke my guts out, but get this....Kelly drank the whole thing! It's that "can do" attitude that makes her so much fun to hang out with, although I truly hope she won't further risk her immune system, or liver bile duct functioning, by sampling any other scary local brews.

Anyway, the thing about hangin' with Kelly is that the synergy is just amazing. We're both the same age (Okay, I'm a year older, dammit!), in the same industry, and with the same hopes and dreams for our career futures. We both find ourselves spending considerable amounts of time on the African continent, yet if you'd told us it would happen 20 years ago, we'd have probably laughed it off. We both have a powerful drive to make a difference in this industry, to do more than just clock in and clock out.

And we both sense an incredible amount of energy and possibility in the future of African media. Now, how a gal from Taylor, Texas and a another gal from Cairo, Illinois managed to wind up thinking they could actually be a part of that energy, half way around the world....well, that's the rest of the story. And it's a pretty exciting one, come to think of it.

But time will tell. In the meantime, look out Kenya: You are witnessing the rise of "Blonde Ambition and the Dynamic Diva." Together, we far exceed the legal limit of fun.

Eminent Domain

Exactly one week ago, I was sitting in this conference room at the Kenyatta International Conference Centre when this group of men assembled on this stage. It's a scene not unlike many you'll see in African countries; men in positions of power seated at head tables making speeches. But this group of men had a bit more "oomph" than most.

This was the opening panel of the Pan African Media Conference 2010, and seated at this table were the President of Kenya, Mwai Kibaki, the Vice President of Kenya, Kalonzo Musyoka, the Prime Minister of Kenya, Raila Odinga, the President of Rwanda, Paul Kagame, the former President of Mozambique, Joaquim Chissano, the former President of Tanzania, Benjamin Mkapa, and His Highness the Aga Khan, businessman, philanthropist, founder of Nation Media Group and a descendant of the prophet Muhammad.I guess he needed something to trump all that Presidential energy.

Anyway, sitting there at this exact moment, I knew I was witnessing something quite important. Not only were the logistics involved in getting all of these men together in the same room absolutely mind-boggling, but the topics they were discussing are absolutely pivotal to the future of the African continent:

The role of media in shaping societies, interpreting events, educating citizens, exposing corruption, and in fueling or quelling violence. I learned so much from not only this high-powered panel, but from the entire 2-day meeting. And part of the reason I haven't been blogging is because what I learned is so overwhelming. If I had to try and boil it down, it would be to say that as I experienced my own internal struggles and frustrations about why things don't work here, and why the barriers to progress seem so insurmountable at times, I have to remember that Kenya, and many other African nations, have only been free of colonialist rule for an average of 50 years.

I would love to think, in fact I often DO think, that 50 years is more than enough time to get your act together and make things run smoothly. I have pontificated more than a few times that blaming problems on colonialist oppressors 50 years after they're gone is pretty lame, and that a country's current leaders need to dig down deep, past the petty bickering and short-sighted greed, to find solutions that move their countries forward. And I have said that until powerful media companies like Nation Media Group truly invest in empowering and professionalizing their journalists, they will never be much more than stenographers recording the political back-biting while the people drown in neglect.

But something about last week's conference actually shifted a tectonic plate in my brain. I swear, I'm actually start to believe that maybe, just maybe, the winds of change have begun to blow on this continent, particularly where media is concerned.

I'll let the words of Nation Media Group CEO Linus Gitahi summarize what I think is happening, and why I think this is an amazing time to be involved in African media:

"This is that rarely–ever moment in history. History is turning a page. For over half a century, Africa has sprung, stumbled, run, fallen, rolled over, gotten up and dusted herself and sometimes lurched on. But now over 50 years of self rule, the ride has brought us to the edge of time’s great precipice, and one Africa – a tiny little voice at the back of the head is looking down at the bottom of the ravine and hesitating, the other Africa is looking up at the sky and saying it’s time to fly."

Gives one lots to think about, wouldn't you say?

"I'm Just Sayin', Dawg," Part 16

I SWEAR I had just read about Sandra Bullock's interview with Barbara Walters a few days before the latest Hollywood Zippergate news broke. It resonated because the way she described her relationship history sounded a lot like my own.

There may be a million other reasons why I haven't found Mr. Right, but one of them is definitely because Eloise Jones and Julie Newell did a damned fine job of moulding me into one fully independent woman. I am not the shy, retiring, girly type. I do not seek a man to make all my decisions for me or pay all my bills. (Well, okay, maybe half of 'em.) At this point in my life, I definitely am not looking for a man to give me an identity. I think I've got that pretty well taken care of.

It's just the way Sandra described finally allowing herself to let a man "have her back" that really rang my bell. I've always kinda needed to show guys that I didn't need that. That I was fully self-contained and in control, and in fact, could probably provide them with a little back-bone if they needed it. I never wanted to appear weak, or even mildly vulnerable. That was just too scary.

Before I go any further, I must state that I am increasingly pitching tent in "Camp Get-A-Life" where obsession with the minutiae of celebrity scandal is concerned. Sure, I find the headlines appalling and will readily offer my gut opinion, but reading some of the online debates about what really happened among bajillionaire superstars usually leaves me incredulous! There is absolutely no way that Lulu in Dubuque, or Rachel in Nairobi, can have the faintest clue about what's going on between Brad and Angie, or Tiger and Elin, or Sandy and Jesse, so why spend so much time speculating and condemning?

One online comment today really sort of summed up the situation. The writer suggested that Sandra Bullock will be just fine. Granted, it must be horrible to have your marriage implode weeks after reaching the absolute pinnacle of your profession, after proclaiming your love and devotion to the world, and after slogging through five years of custody battles for a beloved stepchild.

But when these things happen to superstars, they're a lot more equipped to get over it that you or I would be. Money can't buy happiness, but being depressed in beachfront villa on Mauritius is a lot less crappy than being depressed in a one-bedroom rental apartment in Memphis. Having a nervous breakdown is less of a drag when you can afford the counseling and the anti-depressants, I'd wager.

Still, while I don't know the real story behind what's happening to Sandra and Jesse, my heart so totally goes out to her. And here's my bottom line about Jesse James:

"Brah, at least Tiger's Trash looked vaguely human."

In other words, if your man steps out with a consumptive, lizard-like, stank 'ho, cry all you want, go through all the stages of grief 3 times if necessary, but you must always remember--that is SO not about you.

"I'm just sayin', dawg..."

But I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For????

Begging your pardon, but I have been totally all tied up these past few days with a little shindig going on in Nairobi this week. Basically, the company I've been working with for the past 20 months, Nation Media Group, has been celebrating its Jubilee...50 years ago this month since the first NMG product, the Daily Nation Newspaper, began publishing.

The Pan African Media Conference 2010 is a really, REALLY big deal. Especially for a mildly-burnt out cynic like me! In fact, it's a bigger deal than I ever really considered it would be, even though NMG is the biggest media company in East and Central Africa. More than anything else, it's offered me an amazing opportunity to reflect on my African training experiences during the past 7 years. Ever since the first time I set foot on the African Continent to lead a reporting workshop, in March of 2003, as a matter of fact, I have had some extraordinary opportunities to observe African media and all its challenges up close and personal.

And get this: the Pan African Media Conference is also making me question whether now's the time to leave the Mamaland. (Yeah, yeah, I know....) But there's so much going on, so much potential. Heck, the theme of the conference is ""Media and the Africa Promise"......

"Should I stay or should I go now? If I stay there will be trouble, If I go there will be double..."

Anyway, I'm still caught up in PAMC activities at the mo', so I'll share my thoughts and impressions over the coming days. But I couldn't help sending this little postcard--my Blurry Brush with Bono! Mr. Afro-Optimism himself, one of the most severely cool people on the planet. I actually got to shake his hand!!!!

Sometimes, I actually shock myself with some of the stuff that happens to me.