Love For Sale.............

It’s September 1st, the start of my fourth month in Northern Uganda, and I hope, the start of a new attitude pour moi.

First, my stint is about half over, which heightens my pleasant anticipation of ordering the pecan-crusted halibut with a glass of lightly-chilled viognier at DC Coast restaurant in only about 4 more months! Second, I’m going to try and write a blog post every day this month….that is, every day there’s wireless connectivity in Northern Uganda. My August output was totally paltry, and the truth is, there’s actually something interesting, sad, or hilarious for me to write about at least 20 times every day.

Basically, it really is time for me to stop complaining about things and get down to business. I am a PROJECT DIRECTOR, and I have to act like one. I have to “woman up” and take the lead, in good times or bad. On those days when I want to stomp my feet, ball up my fists and start swinging at everything that moves out of pure frustration, I just have to suck it up and handle my bizness.

Like today. Remember one of my past blogs in which I wrote about my finance assistant, V., the one who’s a young, well-meaning, if memory-impaired, striving Ugandan professional woman? Well, dear readers, would that I had known just HOW professional she actually was.

My first AND last clue should have been when at the end of some workdays (particularly Fridays), she kept asking to be dropped off at the local Total petrol station. She said she just wanted to “chill out.” I simply attributed this strange activity to her significantly lower than average IQ. Or that perhaps there was a mechanic at the station she had a crush on. Even though I’m 45 years old, I’m still astonishingly naïve at times. My brain still refuses to believe the worst, resorting to a Pollyann-ish automatic default option rather than absorbing what is glaringly obvious.

Well, recent intelligence has revealed that my finance assistant has a sideline. Need I say more? In fact, our newest hire, a 22 year old intern from California, figured it out before I did. (After only 2 weeks, it turns out that in just about every measurable way, the kid is smarter than all the rest of us put together.)

But that’s not even the worst aspect of this Byzantine management crisis. I was also informed this morning that my finance assistant has yet ANOTHER sideline…..cutting side-deals for herself with vendors. Let’s say a truck rental costs 400,000 shillings. My assistant comes back to me and says it costs 430,000 shillings. She then pays the vendor, and pockets the extra for herself.

Trust me, I would not be typing these allegations without proof. So, on Monday morning I have to call a staff meeting at which several of our burly security guards, our new intern and our Technical Director will be present. I’ve already arranged a flight to Kampala for her on Monday afternoon, so now all that’s left is to fire her ass that morning.

Have I adequately communicated the blood-curdling horror of the situation I find myself in, one that had you predicted it for me a year ago, I would have called you crazy as a loon? But for some reason, I’m incredibly calm. I have a job to do, and I intend to do it swiftly, authoritatively, and thoroughly.

(My God, I think it’s FINALLY happened…..I am a bona fide grown-up. I’ve resisted that cruel fate for so long, but now maturity has me clutched in its cold, bony, unforgiving grip. I suppose it had to happen at some point, but the reality is harsher than I’d envisioned.)

Then again, maybe it’s not so bad after all. I’m learning that when you stop whining and complaining about things you don’t want to do, and just DO them, it saves a lot of time. Looking back over my post-teen years (remember, for me, adulthood just kicked in today), I’ve wasted a lot of time resenting unpleasant or difficult responsibilities. I probably could have accomplished a lot more in my life if I had just shut up and done what needed to be done, instead of procrastinating and moaning about it.

So, keep a good thought going for me at 9 AM Monday September 3rd Gulu time (2 AM EST, 1 AM CT, and 11 PM Pacific Sunday September 2nd). Being a grown-up is a sucky job, but almost everybody has to do it at some point.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s update..….