Never a Dull Moment in UG.....

Earlier today, at around 1:45 PM, I was sitting in a Kampala cafe waiting for my Internews colleagues Akiiki and the Intern to arrive from Gulu. I had flown down yesterday on Eagle Air, because, frankly, I’m the Boss, and I didn’t feel like having my spine reconfigured during the 6 hour ride on pot-holed roads so bad you’d think you were in Mississippi. Akiiki and the Intern actually left Gulu at 6 AM, but at around 10 AM, about 120 kilometres outside of Kampala, they got stopped at a police checkpoint.

Their personal papers were "in order", but the weaselly rat bastard we rent the Land Cruiser from had forgotten to renew the insurance on it. So, Akiiki and Sean were escorted to the nearest police station. They were told to turn over the keys and wait for a magistrate to show up and sort the situation out. When Akiiki refused to give them the keys, they offered him the option of a few hours in a jail cell. Naturally, he rejected that offer.

Meanwhile, The Intern had to sit outside the police station and guard the stiflingly hot car, even though there were a myriad friendly Ugandan military police officers milling about carrying AK-47's. Finally, at about 1 PM, The Intern called to say the magistrate finally showed up, fined them 400,000 shillings (and ordered the rat bastard to repay us), and sent them on their way. Of course, when The Intern called, there was another torrential downpour in Kampala, so I knew it might take a while for them to get here.

At 5 PM, I started panicking. I still hadn’t heard from them, and I was on the phone with my boss in DC trying to explain what the heck was going on. I just knew I’d be called to a jail, or to a morgue, to identify them at any moment. Thankfully, The Intern called while I was talking to DC, and said they’d arrived and checked into the hotel. My blood pressure finally started dropping from the 220/198 range, and I could breathe again.

In short, I share this experience to you as a stern reminder that you HAVE to develop a spine of steel and a warped sense of humor to survive in this world. I mean, I will be returning to the US tomorrow evening on THE most difficult journey of my entire life, and yet somehow, compared to living in Uganda, it almost feels like I’m going on vacation.

Oh, and here are a few random observations:

* The ONLY reason Akiiki and The Intern weren't either shot or sent directly to the chain gang was that officials recognized Akiiki. Before joining Internews, he was a BIG DEAL recording artist with multiple top of the chart hits. Everywhere we go, we get instant access because of his fame. And then there's the fact that he gives his heart, body and soul to training journalists, working himself past the point of exhaustion at every workshop. If I were Akiiki, I would demand an automatic doubling of my salary before renewing my contract.

*Let me be even more blunt: If my bosses have even a lick of sense, they would offer The Intern a full-time job. That young man is fearless, hard-working, extremely smart, charming, and totally committed to this project. So much so that he passed out a few times today sitting in that hot-assed Land Cruiser waiting for the police to release Akiiki. ‘Twere it moi, I’d have bypassed Kampala and headed straight to Entebbe, where I would have shaken the dust of Uganda off my boots and headed back to the good old U.S.of A. But this guy just shook the whole experience off and is still down for whatever happens with Internews Gulu.

I suppose if he can handle it, so can I. However, after savoring just one bite of a Wendy’s hamburger while I’m back Stateside, and revelling in 24 hour electricity on demand and the Lifetime Movie Network, Internews might just have to find themselves a new Gulu project director…….