It's a Wrap

I guess I've said all I need to say about my quick trip to Dakar, except for this...I was almost torn limb from limb in a fit of religious fervor while trying to purchase a few more hilariously lewd Senegalese undergarments called "pagnes." Seriously!

With just a few hours left before flying out last Tuesday, I headed to Marche HLM, the main market in Dakar. I was told that's the best place to find pagnes. When I got there, I stopped at a stall near the entrance, where a woman was sitting beside a pile of cloth. With my high school French, I asked, "Je veut acheter pagnes." (I THINK that meant "I want to buy pagnes.") She looked at me like I had a third eye nestled on the tip of my nose.

Luckily, I had thought to bring mine along as an example, so I pulled it out of my bag. Now, I'd noticed a guy standing off to one side staring at me, but I didn't see how his expression changed from curiosity to fury once he saw the pagne. Just as I started unfolding it, he rushed over and commenced to snarling. I couldn't understand what he was saying, but the fact that he snatched the pagne out of my hands and got all up in my grill told me all I needed to know.

For about half a second, I felt like giving him a taste of African America, DC Style, and was fixin' to start swiveling my neck and snapping my fingers. But the look in his eyes stopped me cold. Then I remembered: Senegal is mostly Muslim, and the Muslim community was already upset about Stupendo Statue's pagne problem, and here comes this American infidel waving a private garment in public like a flag.

Reclining on the couch in the Oasis while reflecting on that incident, I'm feeling enormously grateful to still be alive. After all, if that guy had decided to capitalize on my clueless affront, and recruited a few of his buddies to join in, they probably could have gotten away with stoning me to death as a disrespectful American harlot. Just imagine CNN's coverage: a pool of blood, the offensive garment draping my battered torso and a 20 pound rock where my head used to be.

So, you might say these pagnes were the bargain of a lifetime! And I've learned my lesson; you'll note that for this blog post's picture, they are discreetly folded. I ain't tryin' to go out like a total punk, thank you very much.