The Power of "WOW!"

So I bought "Oprah's Bible" before heading to Nairobi, but until recently, I couldn't seem to find the time to read it.

Besides, there was so much hype around Eckhart Tolle's self-help book "The Power of Now,"
that I was almost tempted to dismiss it just on GP. I mean, it's easy for Oprah to "revel
in the moment"....hell, if I was worth a billion dollars, I'd be grinning like an idiot 24-7. I know money can't buy happiness, but you can definitely rent to own with that much cheddar.

But I've done enough self-help surfing through the years to have a healthy respect for the art of consciousness-raising. If I'm honest with myself, I've moved through my own life in a cloud of denial in a lot of ways, making the same mistakes over and over because I just didn't believe life could be any different.

Through the years, books like "The Power of Positive Thinking," "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway," and "A Return to Love" have been enormously helpful to me. It's not that my life changed overnight after reading them, but it was like a layer of dead skin got sloughed off, moving me a few inches closer to a sense of renewal.

But if you've been reading my blogposts lately, you might be thinking I must have the hide of an elephant, because there still seems to be plenty of dead skin shrouding my consciousness. In the past week alone, I've pretty much resigned myself to being a lonely spinster the rest of my life!! Part of that mindset is due to the gloomy weather we've been having in Nairobi the past few weeks...and well, you know already know in nauseating detail about what the rest of it is due to.

So while I was sitting in Salon Narcisse at the Sarit Centre on Saturday afternoon, waiting to get my locks re-twisted, I fished around in the bottom of my bag and dragged out "The Power of Now." I'd shoved it in there on the way out the door, thinking that since I'd be trapped in a salon chair for a couple of hours, maybe I could actually force myself to read it.

I'm so glad I did. I'll explain why by sharing an e-mail I sent to my friend Ron the next day, after he'd read my blogposts and concluded that we were in the same boat...

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"Dude, we are ALWAYS in the same boat...the "SS Single, Middle-Aged and Fabulous" !!!!

Actually, I reached another epiphany this weekend, as I lay around like a slug for the most part. As I re-read my recent blogposts about being ambivalent and menopausal, I realized I was playing the same old recording I've been blasting at peak volume this past decade or so, entitled "Rachel the Also-Ran." If I didn't have "My So-Called Bitter Life" to use on as comic relief, half of my blog material would instantly disappear!!!

But something finally forced me to pick up "The Power of Now" and start reading it. Man, did I ever get a wake-up call!! Bottom line, I'm spending WAAAAAYYYY too much time chewing over the past and bracing myself for a future that I've already declared barren and lonely!! So much so that I've almost totally obliterated any possibility of enjoying "NOW."

A consciousness-raising like that one was better than dropping acid!!! I'm not saying I'm walking around on Cloud 9 all of a sudden, but I definitely received a serious psychic tummy-tuck. I loved the concept of "The Pain Body," the aspect of the mind that keeps you totally focused on everything lacking and negative, and all the old hurt and rejection and loss. That aspect feeds on pain, and until you recognize it, your mind just keeps shoveling it fuel like coal!

Well, I'm gonna try to be more conscious of how I see myself and where I am. And I'm NOT going to rely on old scenarios or future fears. Let's see where that attitude takes me!!!!!"

Holla back, yo,

Rachella

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Ron, being the ever helpful friend, sent me another tool to help me stay in the moment....

"Another thought that returns to me from time to time is a quote that I believe Jamie Foxx shared when he won his Oscar (or some other award, maybe for "Ray"). I think he dedicated the award to his grandmother or auntie or someone who always encouraged him to stick to his dreams and take pride in his accomplishments and in his hard work, and told him to stand tall and keep moving forward and "ACT LIKE YOU BEEN SOMEWHERE."

I just fucking love that quote - at one point was going to do a gallery show based on it and I might yet - but it pops into my head sometimes when I walk into a bar or party or wherever, and feel inferior or like time has passed me by or whatever, and (often) I snap out of it, realizing the work i've done and places i've been and friends I have - like you!

And you should do the same. So the next time you feel these anxieties creeping up, take a deep breath and say in the voice of Jamie's gramma, "Girl, Act Like You Been Somewhere!" Then make a list of several good things you can do for others in the next 24 hours - either a helpful email to a friend afar, or something extra for the Nation crew, or a new neighbor in the Westlands - that will go a long way to reaffirm that you are not in this mess alone!"

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Do I have great friends or what?? WOW!