A Whole 'Nuther Perspective

I am exhausted. Spent most of today in the literal windswept dustbowl that is the Maai Mahiu Internally Displaced Persons Camp, about 90 minutes from Nairobi in the heart of the Greater Rift Valley. At some point, I'm going to post the picture of just how rusty and crusty my freshly pedicured feet wound up looking by the time I left.

Spent the rest of the afternoon and evening getting my roots retouched and retwisted. All I'll say is I think I'm the closest thing to an official blonde as I've ever been in my life. (Other than those 45 nerve-shredding minutes I spent as a platinum blonde a few months ago.) Don't worry, I'll explain later.

Once I've gotten some sleep and had time to emotionally process yet another transcendental experience, I will tell it like it was. But I wanted to share this photo today, while it's still Friday the 13th. It sort of sums up the startling epiphany I reached. First, I think I've developed a stronger, more emotionally complex and fulfilling relationship with my new BlackBerry Bold 9000 phone than I have with any of the men I've ever known. I just frakkin' LOVE that thing, and the fact that I can post pictures to my Facebook page while on a semi-remote island in the Indian Ocean or in an IDP camp just slays me.

Then, of course, there are the children. I've been wanting to add to my collection of photos of Ugandan children in IDP camps, because, unfortunately, the government doesn't seem motivated to help most of the people stuck in similar Kenyan camps get back to their home communities. Though I was there helping develop a story about mental health counseling services, I just had to go hang out with the kids for a while.

And then there's the boy in the front of the frame, rolling a bald tire. That tire, and a raggedy tennis ball, are the only two "toys" the children at the PCEA Muniu Primary School have to play with.

That's all I'll say for now, but keep the tire image in mind. You'll be quizzed on it later.

Good night, and I hope you're as grateful for every single thing that you have as I am at this very moment.

Friday the 13th...The Sequel

When I agreed to accompany a reporter to a crisis counseling session for rape survivors at an Internally Displaced Persons Camp in Mai Mahiu this morning, I didn't really take note of the date.

It's Friday the 13th, and I'm reminded of my first journey to similar camps in Northern Uganda--on July 7, 2007, or "Lucky 7/7/07."

I'm not as tense and anxious as I was before that trip, because in some ways, I know what to expect. And I remember how hopeful and buoyed I was that day, observing the beautiful little children "get on with it" in a way only children can.

But this time, considering the fate of tens of thousands of men, women and children who are still living in makeshift tents more than a year after Kenya exploded in post-election violence makes me think more of a horror movie than anything else. Freddy Krueger ain't got NUTHIN' on the reality of living in a squalid refugee camp in your own country.

Looking forward to sharing the journey with you later, knowing that what I will witness has the power to either leave me totally shaken or incredibly privileged to once again observe the strongest element on the face of the Earth-the human spirit.

"Dontcha Wish Your Girlfriend Could Cook Like Me...DONTCHA???"

Okay, I may not have the lithe, supple, silicone-enhanced body of a Pussycat Doll, but I defy one of those heifers to come home after a hard day's work and whip up a penne pasta with chicken and peas in a parmesan/thyme/garlic and white wine cream sauce....

WITHOUT A RECIPE.....

"In Yo' FACE, bee-YOTCHES!!"

"Re: Thanks, I have received the winning prize"

Sometimes, I'm just too damned cynical for my own good. I'm frequently guilty of leaping before I look. But let's not get into my relationship history at the moment.

For today's purposes, I'm talking about the fact that I almost deleted an
email with the subject line, "Re: Thanks, I have received the winning prize."

On the one hand, I have some justification for being so rashly dismissive. First, the email had been sitting in my Spam box for the past few days. Second, the sender had an African name. Okay, who among you has NOT received a fervent cyber plea from the orphaned only child of a recently-deceased African cocoa merchant who has left her 30 million USD in a Nigerian bank account, and who needs your urgent assistance to retrieve the funding?

(And who OF COURSE would be eager to break you off a little sumthin' sumthin' if you help by wiring her the 5,000 USD she needs to travel to Nigeria to take care of this matter?)

So when I saw the name "Gloria Aciro," I instantly pictured a strapping young hustler named Njoki Mtumba sitting in a Lagos cyber cafe trolling for suckas. Still, every once in a while, I read one of those emails just for a laugh, or even to admire the poignancy of the prose. Mostly I just delete 'em.

Well, for some reason, today I decided to take a minute and read this one. And then it hit me: Gloria Aciro is Gloria Laker, one of the Ugandan freelancers I had worked with during my Gulu days! Aciro is her married name. Gloria was so talented and committed and serious about her work, and yet so disarmingly, genuinely humble about it. I kept trying to interact with her as a peer, because we're about the same age, but she just wasn't having it. Because I was the "teacher," she always treated me like a respected elder.

Since starting this blog, I've tried a couple of times to explain why
I do this work, when there are plenty of times when I just plain don't know myself. And then something like this happens.

Read it and you'll see what I mean. Gloria did in fact receive the winning prize, from the BBC World Service Trust Program "Communicating Justice," for her news and feature reporting on the peace and reconciliation process in Northern Uganda. That was the theme of the trainings I helped lead in Gulu. I am so honored to even be mentioned in this note.

"On second thought, Gloria, I have ALSO received the winning prize!"

--- On Mon, 9/3/09, Gloria Aciro wrote:

From: Gloria Aciro
Subject: Re: Thanks, I have received the winning prize
To: Julia.Crawford@bbc.co.uk, jrbakody@hotmail.com, coemmanuel.chicon@radiofonies.eu
Cc: nesryn.bouziane@bbc.co.uk
Date: Monday, 9 March, 2009, 9:20 AM

Dear BBC WST team,

And TJ journalists in Uganda ,

I am glad to inform you all with great pleasure that I have received the winning prize for the just concluded Communicating Justice competition in which i emerged the winner following my radio feature on child-mothers.

i have been given a laptop with adobe sound editing and a digital marantz recorder

Nesryn and Julia thanks for selecting me to be part of the 20 Ugandan Journalists in the communicating Justice project. I promise to work even harder now that I have a good recorder and an editing facility. As a journalist I will remain neutral and independent in pursuing transitional Justice process in Uganda .

Winning this award therefore is one-step ahead in my career as a journalist communicating Justice in Uganda particularly in Northern Uganda where many injustices have taken place and are still taking place. I hope that my stories will sensitize and engage Ugandans into identifying proper justice mechanisms in solving the two-decade conflict in the North of the country, and with this therefore my focus will remain on Northern Uganda .

I would like to appreciate the cooperation of the child-mothers of Koro Abili Internally Displaced camp in Gulu who were very patient with me for the two days I spent in the camp interviewing and recording their activities and stories which resulted into my winning the competition.

Sincerely I would like to thank Ms Clare Ziwa whose training I was able to put into practice in line with location reporting, sound effects and presentation tips which she gave us during the Gulu training late 2008.

Clare, without your guidance, I would not have made it. Thanks Clare and a big hug

Paul Kavuma thanks for encouraging me. I still recall when you said to me that ‘work hard Gloria and win the computer to ease your work’ I have made it Paul.

My friends; Pius Sawa of Radio Sapiencia and Romeo Akiiki of Internews Gulu, thanks a lot for the studio support you gave me during the production of my stories. I cannot also forget to thank Ms Karen Williams and Rachel Jones formerly of internews who guided me many times with my story ideas, and how to produce a good feature story.

Then finally, I would like to encourage my TJ colleagues in Uganda that we maintain the spirit of teamwork and togetherness, by this we shall be able to learn and share ideas from each other on how best we can communicate about Transitional Justice Process in Uganda .

Colleagues, sharing story ideas is one good lesson. I must say Pius Sawa, Sam Lawino and Bill Okech are good at this and many times we put our heads together and it has worked well for us, personally I have learnt a lot from them.

We should be creative and also be able to read the books we were given at the Kampala training. There is a lot of information that can enable one to learn more about TJ. I must say that the first TJ/ communicating Justice training I received in Kampala transformed me from a war reporter into more of a peace and Justice Journalist. I am glad for this.

For sure we should not be waiting for BBC WST to come and give us training all the time on TJ. Lets also prove to them that from the books they gave us and the experience we have we can make good coverage on TJ issues in our country

As I conclude, I would like to congratulate my TJ friends who won the award starting with David Okurut, Wambi and Julian. Ms Julian well done lady, we have balanced the gender quite well lets keep the fire burning

I wish you success in your career

Thanks Aciro Gloria Laker

"I''m Just Sayin', Dawg..." Part 4

Woke up this morning to the following front page headline,

"Government Runs Out of Cash for Free School." Apparently, the famine crisis has sapped all of Kenya's reserve funding, so the 10 billion shillings needed to provide free education for Kenyan children during the first quarter of 2009 just isn't available.

Of course, during my 7 months here, the myriad corruption scandals I've read about have resulted in far more than 10 billion shillings gone missing. So far, nobody's being held accountable.

(Oh, and the reason the government had to spend big bucks importing maize to deal with the famine crisis is because some politician allegedly sold the country's maize reserves in a side deal and pocketed the money for himself.)

But you didn't hear that from me.

"I'm just sayin', dawg..."

What a Difference a Day Makes

When I woke up this morning, the first thing I did was change my Facebook status line to,

"Rachel expects really great things to start happening very soon. Sometimes you can just feel the winds of change blowin'...

I'm not completely sure why I felt so radically different in the span of just 24 hours. Yesterday morning, I was so low, I could have milked a snake. And I was totally focused on bad memories, loss, negativity, and zero expectations for anything positive ever occurring anytime in the near future.

This morning, for some unknown reason, I just woke up feeling hopeful. Partly because I was still digesting the best meal I've had since arriving in Nairobi 7 months ago, at this restaurant called "Talisman." It's in the upper-upscale leafy suburbs called Karen (named after expat "Out of Africa" adventuress Karen Blixen). The clientele is largely comprised of hard-core affluent white folks, mostly European I'd guess, so you know the service and the food were impeccable. (Rich folks don't play that when it comes to spending big bucks on eating out.)

Anyhoo, I was there last night with my new "best friends," Dr. Mario and Kelly. Dr. Mario is actually my Zanzi-buddy Ron's mentor, a newspaper design legend in his own time, and all around delightful human being. Kelly is one of his top designers, a former newspaper art director and also a friend of Ron's. It's such an amazing coincidence that we wound up being in Nairobi at the same time; after years of hearing Ron talk about his work with Dr. Mario, imagine finally meeting him in Kenya of all places, and all because he's redesigning the same paper I'm based at!

No matter where I am in the world, it's just so soul-nourishing to linger over great conversation with great people and great food. And when I say great, I mean GREAT, people. One of Talisman's signature appetizers are these feta cheese and coriander samosas that would make you slap your grandma hard enough to knock her dentures out, causing you to help her reinsert them only so you could slap her again.

I DREAMED about those bad boys. I kid you not.

Bottom line, I think I'm just increasingly able to revel in perfect experiences, knowing that my overall time frame for having them is inexhorably shrinking. Sadly, most of those experiences involve food rather than sex, but I'll take what I can get until my Karma changes significantly.

Zanzibar was perfect. Scoring a front page health article is perfect. NOT having a soul-searing hot flash always feels just perfect.

It's all about attitude, I guess. When I choose to dwell on what's sad, or bad, or missing, I wind up feeling like ass. When I choose to focus on things like the divinely-inspired combination of feta cheese and coriander wrapped in perfectly flaky puff pastry, and how fortunate I am to be able to taste it in the company of incredibly cool people, somehow life doesn't seem so suck-y after all.

March SUCKS.....

It probably didn't help my mood much last night to head home after a hard day's work and watch "Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte," with Bette Davis and Olivia de Havilland. I popped it into the laptop as I lay across my bed wearing nothing but my drawers, with the fan pointed directly at me. Somehow, though, observing the campy melodramatics of two middle aged divas was entirely appropriate for my current state of being.

I'm not even gonna get started about the severe hot flash routine that kicked in few weeks ago. I bore myself sometimes with it. But this morning, it dawned on me why my overall mood has started curdling lately. Six years ago today, my eldest brother David decided he didn't want to wake up anymore. And my sister Julie was diagnosed with Stage 3 Colon Cancer in March of 2006. A year after emergency surgery, during a visit to DC to celebrate one year of being "cancer free," she wound up back in the hospital. That was the start of the Ultimate Downhill Slide.

Oh, and those thoughts occurred BEFORE I checked my email and saw that my brother Fred, who has struggled with diabetes, obesity, back problems and a host of other health issues, was hospitalized yesterday with sky-high blood pressure.

I don't want to even think about the potential horrors that await on the ides of March.

So, I need to do something to jolt myself out of this suck-y mood. Maybe a game drive, or another jolt of Zanzi-bliss? We shall see.....